Friendship with God

The keynote address of Dr. Mathews George Chunakara, Director of Commission on International Affairs, WCC, on Friendship with God, Humanity and Nature, at National Ecumenical Youth Assembly, Kolkatta.


'Friends and Friendship'

Friendship is universal. It cuts across all people of all cultures in all times. In every culture and situation and among our most cherished and satisfying possessions in life, friends and friendships assume the most valuable roles. Without friends, life becomes monotonous, fragile and narrow. With friends, life becomes enriched and enlarged. Friendship helps for mutual sharing of joy, sorrow, gains and losses. Even if the languages spoken are different or the values that define friendship vary, friendship has a unique place in one's life. Friendship transcends race, gender, cultures, and languages.

Friendship, as understood, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other and which requires and involves a certain degree of intimacy and genuineness. This distinctive kind of concern for one's friend is a concern which might reasonably be understood as love. Philosophers from the ancient Greeks have traditionally distinguished three notions that can properly be called love: agape, eros, and philia. Agape is a kind of love that does not respond to the antecedent value of its object but instead is thought to create value in the beloved; it has come through the Christian tradition to mean the love God has for us as well as, by extension, our love for God and our love for humankind in general. By contrast, eros and philia are generally understood to be responsive to the merits of their objects especially to the beloved's properties, its goodness or beauty. Consequently, accounts of friendship tend to understand it not merely as a case of reciprocal love of some form, but as essentially involving significant interactions between the friends. Mutual trust is essential in nurturing true friendship. We need friends with whom we can share our thoughts, concerns, and frustrations. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without these qualities, we often feel betrayed and lonely. In true friendship, there are no negative thoughts, no turning away. True friends encourage one another. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle, fear and helplessness. In true friendship unconditional love, support, and care take precedence over other considerations. All these qualities and parameters are applicable for nurturing a qualitative friendship in one's life with God, humanity and nature.

FRIENDSHIP WITH GOD

The Old Testament narrates testimonies of the power, majesty, sovereignty and faithfulness of God as displayed in creation in various forms. This is more evident especially in the history of Israel. The almightiness of God has often been understood and presented traditionally as sheer absolute omnipotence and irresistible power. Such omnipotence may be interpreted or seen as something beyond the scope of any sort of friendship with God. What we learn about God is that He is the Master of Nature, who takes care of "the birds of the heavens and the flowers of the field" (Mathew 6: 26-28) and who makes "His sun rise on the whole of mankind" (Mathew 5:45), a God who "takes care of all our needs" (Mathew 6:8, 32-33): a God of mercy, the God whose heart has a soft corner for the needy, the underprivileged and the oppressed. As the Psalmist says, "the Lord is gracious and compassionate, forbearing, and constant in his love. The Lord is good to all men, and his tender care rests upon all his creatures" (Psalm 145). Many peoples and several religions profess faith in a single, universal god, the creator, sustainer and goal of everything else that is. The Christians believe that "the one true God", who made himself known to Israel, has revealed himself supremely in "the one whom he has sent", Jesus Christ (John 17: 3); that in Christ, "God has reconciled the world to Himself" (2 Cor.5:19); and that by his Holy Spirit, God is bringing new and eternal life to all who, through Christ, put their trust in him.1

Here, a natural question based on rational thinking comes to our mind; how can this God almighty be your friend? A friend is someone who knows all about his other friend and who loves and cares for him. In this context, the pertinent question arising is, 'is there anyone who knows all about us?' Naturally and spontaneously, we may answer to this question that 'God knows all about us'. But, we tend to believe traditionally that after all, God is God and does not strike one as being on the familiar human level of friendship. This is the reason that Aristotle the Greek philosopher (384 BC – 322 BC) thought that friendship, since it implies equality, cannot exist between man and God as there is no equality between God and human beings according to the perceptions in his time. However, since the time of Aristotle, this view has changed as God himself has intervened in the course of history. The son of God was incarnated in Christ and Christ led us to a new understanding of our human relations with God. He tells us "I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have learned from my God" (John 15.15). By calling us his friends, Christ has placed us on a common level of intimate relationship with God the Father.

There are numerous examples we can find in the Bible for true friendship between God and His people. The story of Abraham's obedience to God's call and a dynamic, adventurous journey by Abraham with God (Genesis 18:17-33) is a classic example for true friendship with God in trust. What we see here is that God shares His intentions with Abraham and he responds to God's call by telling Him of his thoughts and feelings about the situation. The mutual trust, respect and loyalty in their relationship to each other were evident. The story of David's escape from the assassination attempt (Samuel: 20) from Saul and the help given to David by Jonathan, Saul's son, speaks of the true friendship between David and Jonathan. These two men truly cared for each other and had great mutual trust and confidence. When David had to run for his life from Jonathan's father Saul, Jonathan recognized that David was innocent and Jonathan helped his friend David to escape from the assassination plot by Saul. David survived Saul's attempts to kill him and later became one of Israel's greatest kings. The reason for Jonathan's willingness to give his throne to David was because he knew that it was God's will and he trusted and loved God. Jonathan's self-denying love and sacrifice was his love and desire for God's will to be done. This is an expression of how friendship can remain truly loving and self-denying. David also expressed his love by not killing Jonathan or any of his offspring. We know the experiences of how dynasty changes become disastrous. In ancient cultures, whenever a new king or ruler came to power, he would kill the offspring of the former king as part of his political strategy. David was an exception to this model. He was not bothered about his own protection. He loved God and therefore could love his neighbour as he loved himself. God's caring and protecting hands are visible in all these events.

The life of the incarnate Son, as the total gift of self to God and to his fellow human beings, reveals that in God himself, life is mutual self-giving and in communion. All is summed up in the declaration "God is love" (1 John 4:8). The love of God, which also involves justice of God, is transferred to all those who acknowledge that they are enjoined to love one another (John 13:34). The greatest commandment which is the summary of all the laws is also the essence of the entire Gospel, which calls us to love God and love one's neighbour (Mark 12:29). The pattern of God's love evidently has special characteristics in Jesus Christ who mirrors it in His life. For Him, love is concrete; it is deeds, not mere words. For Him, it is not love until it is acted upon and demonstrated as love. This action of love is to be concerned with the poor, hungry, needy and naked. This action emphasizes the need to restore the lost dignity and integrity of all those who have lost it. The love of God in Christ here means not the love that is returned, but the love that flows out to all others. This is evident in Jesus' words when he tells us, 'I have loved you, so you must love one another' (John 15: 9). This is the cardinal message of the Gospel and we can only be truly faithful to that when we respond to God's love in Jesus Christ by loving others. When the true love becomes a reality through our actions, then we find the true meaning of our friendship. As Bishop M. Azariah, former bishop of the Church of South India in Madras Diocese, one of the pioneers instrumental in organising international advocacy to highlight the problems of Indian Dalit Christians observes, "Like Jesus Christ, 'each must be the man for others". The love and justice of God never return to complete the circle. But they reach out to ever widening centrifugal circles, removing all barriers and knocking off all fences".2

In true friendship we can experience the widening centrifugal circles without any barriers or restrictions. We need to experience freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness in dealing with others. The value of true friendship is evident in different ways in such acts. The story of Peter and Jesus is another example to testify to this fact. Peter feared for his life when Jesus was led away from the Garden of Gethsemane, after his denial of knowing Jesus. As Jesus was led away by his accusers, Jesus casts a look toward Peter that says, "I knew you would deny me, and I forgive you" (John 21). Friendships in life are seen at different levels. Jesus' approach and attitude to the selection of his disciples and his identification with the people in different sectors of society are clear examples for his ways of developing his friendships and relationships. Out of his twelve disciples, Judas Iscariot was the only one who was chosen among the Jerusalem Jews, but all others were Galileans who belonged to the second class Jews. This is a clear indication of his motive to be on friendly terms with the ones whom he wanted to redeem; the oppressed and the downtrodden. God expects human beings to be in lasting relationships. The nature of our isolationist society and culture offers opportunities only for empty relationships. The emerging individualistic culture of our time forget the fact that "a friend sticks closer than a brother, and that in order for one to be a friend, one must show themselves to be friendly" (Proverbs 18:24). God gives us friends in life and shows us the ways in which we find our friends. Rabindranath Tagore's poem (Gitanjali) reminds us about the way God gives us friends in our lives and in different circumstances:

"Thou hast made me known to friends whom I knew not.
Thou hast given me seats in homes not my own.
Thou hast brought the distant near and made a brother of the stranger."

To be continued..